Theory #1 – There are those of us who date with one purpose, and that is to find a mate. We are dating until we find our life-long partner (“the one”), and then we will stop dating others. This will ideally lead to engagement and marriage. End of story, and that was simple, right? R-I-G-H-T! If only it were that easy!
What I am seeing an increase in, and I have yet to decide if it’s alarming to me or not, are those who date just to date. That brings me to Theory #2 Perhaps you are not interested in a long-term relationship. Maybe you are not interested in settling down and have no intention of becoming serious. But you are dating to have fun, to get out and get to know different people.
You may be dating to date for a variety of underlying causes. Perhaps you were just hurt badly in a previous relationship that ended, and you want to stay ‘on the scene,’ and don’t want to be home alone, but you are dating casually to protect yourself from becoming over-committed.
You may not have time for the personal, let’s call it ‘maintenance,’ the ups and downs that come with a steady relationship so maybe you just date on a casual level for something to do.
Maybe you are doing this for self-discovery, and to learn what you like and don’t like in potential mates, or more importantly, what you need and do not need.
Does your date know you are seeing other people? Do they know your intent is to get ? For those of you dating to date people . . while honesty may be difficult, and you may and will be tempted to play along if you like the guy/girl when they become more serious, I stress the importance of communication, tactful but open honest communication. It will save so many problems, heartache, and injured feelings down the road.